


Chiroptera

by epic_shish_kabob



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arbitrary Made-Up Alien Creatures, Bill Potts is the Best, Fluff, Gen, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kinda Crack-ey, My jokes aren't as funny as I think they are, OFBC, Original Fruit Bat Character, Please don't call my Original Fruit Bat Character a Mary Sue, are they?, at least I hope it's humorous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 16:22:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14288790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epic_shish_kabob/pseuds/epic_shish_kabob
Summary: An impulse buy by Bill leads to intergalactic warfare.





	Chiroptera

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in the AU (?) where Bill decides to stay with Thirteen. For the record, I haven't seen the Christmas Special yet, so this doesn't take that into account.

“It’s so cute!” Bill cries. The offending animal sits demurely in an oblong glass bubble. It is small, white, and fuzzy.  
The Doctor makes a distracted noise, more interested in a group of colorful humanoids with four arms apiece, gyrating in a fashion that might be called dance, but only if one had no preconceived notions about the concept. 

“It’s kind of like a bat, but, like, cute,” Bill says, tugging the Doctor by a sleeve closer to the precarious pile of glass capsules containing an assortment of alien creatures.  
The Doctor smiles dreamily and wiggles her fingers at a small purple snake with two heads. It flicks a tongue at her and then slithers back under a leaf.  
“Oh. A Dortan fruit bat!” she exclaims, finally catching sight of the small fuzzy thing. It waves a wing noncommittally and twitches its bright yellow snout. Bill approaches the entity sitting next to the pile of animals. It has tentacles, is vaguely green and has no eyes.

“So what d’you use for money around here, then?” she asks.

“Standard credits, I imagine,” interjects the Doctor, her gaze now wandering to the sky. The tentacled creature burbles a yes. 

Suddenly, the Doctor begins rifling through her pockets, extracting a variety of metallic tubes, several comically large coins, and something that might be a radish. She finally settles on a different metallic tube and tosses it to the tentacled creature, who fumbles with it more than any being with that many appendages should.

“Which one was it again?” the Doctor asks.

“That one,” Bill says, pointing at the small fuzzy thing and grinning.

Bill clutches the bubble to her chest on their way back to the TARDIS.  
“What’s your name, then?” she asks the fuzzy thing, which jumps about excitedly and chitters.  
“I don’t speak that,” she says. “Where d’you think we should put him?” she directs toward the Doctor, who just shrugs and smiles.

Their progress is interrupted by a small battalion of potato-like soldiers in blue armor making their way through the market with all the subtlety of a mime on fire. The container with the fruit bat is one of the many casualties of their progress.

“Hope there aren’t any Rutans about,” the Doctor mutters to herself, peering at the Sontarans. In the confusion, the fluffy creature has bounced to freedom, leaving Bill to frantically sift through the broken glass. 

A shriek that a Sontaran warrior should have not been capable of making suddenly issued from the formation. Moments later, a Sontaran who might be the leader and who might just be the one who managed to grab the escaped bat holds aloft the escaped animal with stubby fingers.

“This creature has been released into our midst purposefully! It is an obvious attempt at assassination!” he cries, shaking the bat every so often to punctuate a sentence. The poor thing looks rather dizzy. 

“This is an act of war! The Dortan people will feel our wrath!” 

He flings the disconcerted bat to the side, where Bill scrambles to collect it. The Sontarans reorganize themselves and turn around, heading back the way they came.

“Don’t run off on me again, you hear?” Bill admonishes the bat, who squeals and wiggles into her sleeve. When she turns around, the Doctor has already taken off toward the TARDIS. 

“Gotta stop a war,” she shouts over her shoulder.

Bill grins and runs after her.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't overdo it with the British syntax in the dialogue, did I? 
> 
> Anyway, I imagine that the Dortan Fruit Bat looks like the Honduran White Bat. They're super cute.  
> 


End file.
